SHARED EXPECTATIONS

Involvement is a key factor for success but if you don’t define your success it leads to unmet expectations and frustration. This is a problem seen over and over in the ballpark and in the boardroom. The important question to ask is “Do we have consensus or at least an understanding of our collective expectations?”

One season from hell cured me of this malady. The season was not very enjoyable. In fact it was painful. The parent involvement piece was there but there was never a meeting to discuss shared expectations. That was my fault.

From then on I would hold meetings at the local library meeting room. It was a parents only meeting. I would arrive before hand and arrange the chairs in a semi circle. On each chair I put an agenda along with names of the players, their parents, and appropriate phone numbers. In addition, the agenda had a purpose: To meet each other, understand parent expectations and coach’s philosophy for the upcoming season, and to assign parent duties.

The first order of business was to have each parent introduce themselves, identify their player, and answer one question; “What would constitute a successful season for your child?” The overwhelming response was to have fun, make new friends, and learn the game. In all my years of coaching I can’t recall any parent saying they wanted to win a championship.

Then it was my turn to discuss my expectations and philosophy that included behavior by the children and the parents during the season as well as how we would address potential conflicts. Individual issues regarding health problems (i.e. diabetes, epilepsy, etc.), bad experiences, and other need to know stuff was discussed in private.

From time to time we had to remind each other why we, the parents and I, were here: for the children to have fun, make new friends, learn the game.
How I applied this lesson to the big kids is for the next blog.